Mother’s Day

the unhealed hole

Posted on by Grace Day

I have one. Actually, I have more than one. Truth be told, I have multiple unhealed holes in my heart. And I’m thinking you most likely have them too, dear readers – multiple holes in your hearts, that is. It would probably not be an exaggeration to say that our hearts resemble Swiss cheese, I think. We are the walking wounded of this world.

The particular hole whose presence I am feeling most acutely today is the hole left by the absence of my mom. Of course, today is always poignantly painful, being Mother’s Day. It is impossible to ignore her absence on this day when other’s are taking their mom’s out to eat or spending the day with them. I miss my mom on ordinary days, too, but this day is an annual reminder of what I’ve lost, or rather who I’ve lost.

It’s an inevitable fact of life, that the older we get the more losses we will experience, hence the more holes our hearts will accumulate. Still our hearts keep on beating even as new spaces are created in our hearts for new lives coming into this world and into our families. I choose to fill the hole left by my mom’s absence with all the good memories I have. She left me her legacy of love, her example of courage, devotion, service and faithfulness to family and to friends. This is something I continue to carry with me and never want to forget. She is no longer here to remind me to do good, to do right, to keep going and to never give up. I have to carry on her legacy in her absence. No small task..

But when I feel discouraged, I think of my mom’s faithfulness in difficult, painful circumstances. She quietly persevered. Remembering this, I know that I can too, even though my mom is no longer here to cheer me on. After all, we all need someone in our corner. And I am reminded that when I feel alone, I can know that I am not alone and that I do, indeed, have someone in my corner. God’s word says,

“God sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6)

and also I have this promise –

“The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

I don’t have to be afraid or discouraged. There is Someone watching out for me. There is Someone who has my back in this big, uncertain world. There is Someone who knows my name and the way that I take. I am not lost nor am I unseen. In fact, these words reassure me about my Creator’s love for me –

“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17)

My mom’s love was comforting and protective and continuous – I miss that BUT – God’s love is everpresent and unfailing – He will one day heal all the holes in my heart. In the meantime, I know these words are true –

“My help come from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip – He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you – the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm – He will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” (Psalm 121:2-8)

sincerely, Grace Day

mom’s day memories

Posted on by Grace Day

Another Mother’s Day without Mom has come and gone. These days are always bittersweet for me. I used to spend them with my Mom, but now that’s not an option. Mother’s Day may be bitter because Mom is no longer here with us, but it is also sweet because the memories of her that keep me company, are good ones. Still, they are a poor substitute for the real thing – my mom. I have to say I feel cheated out of more time with her. There were things we wanted to do – a trip to her alma mater, a trip to our old vacation spot, a genealogy to research – so many questions I want to ask her now, but time has run out. I always thought there would be more time – more time to spend with her when things slowed down. But I was wrong. Life never slowed down, and time ran out.

At least the memories I have are good ones. It’s just that there are not nearly enough of them. I would have liked to have had more years of memories made, before I no longer had the opportunity to spend time with mom. But we don’t get to choose the number of our days. So I will be grateful for all the years I did have with mom, even as I continue to feel her absence keenly as the years come and go without her. I guess we never outgrow our need for our moms.

And time has a way of preserving the good memories and letting fade away any not so good memories – the typical mother/daughter struggles of the teenage years, for example. I am left with memories of her love and faithfulness and self-sacrificing service for her family and her friends, for her church and her community. A good role model but awfully big shoes to fill.

Yesterday, I chose to be grateful for the years I did have mom, even as I couldn’t help but grieve the years I’ve been without her. She left me a legacy of love that time will not erase. This is something that brings me joy every day, not just on Mother’s Day. I will honor mom’s legacy by trying to live a life of faithful service as she did. This is a challenge that will keep me fully engaged, one that is not for the faint of heart. Mom persevered through many tough trials and situations in life. She didn’t quit, she did not give up. And in the end, she was victorious over those situations that could have defeated her. And we were all the better for it.

As a recipient of Mom’s legacy, I want to honor her by carrying it forward. She was never a victim, always an overcomer. She overcame by staying the course, never giving up. In today’s culture we are all too ready to jump ship when things get tough. Consequently, we don’t experience the reward that awaits us at the end of our long, tough road. Reminds me of these words –

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

Mom never gave up. She never gave up on anyone, her family or her friends. That’s a part of her legacy. Never give up hope. There is always hope for restoration, for reconciliation. Her faith believed these words of Jesus –

“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

In one of the Ten Commandments we are told to “Honor your father and your mother,” – I want to continue to do that even though Mom is no longer here. I can honor her by living out the legacy she left to me – her legacy – a legacy of love, of hope and of faith. She gave my sisters and me so much in life. Upon reflection, it appears she gave us just as much or more in death.

Thanks, Mom. I think I’m still learning the lessons you tried so hard to teach me while you were still here. Your efforts were not in vain. They are making a difference daily in my life. Wish you were here with me, but your legacy and memory remain to guide and to keep me company on my way. Wish I would have told you these things before it was too late. Hope you know how much you are loved, Mom.

sincerely, Grace Day