I have one. Actually, I have more than one. Truth be told, I have multiple unhealed holes in my heart. And I’m thinking you most likely have them too, dear readers – multiple holes in your hearts, that is. It would probably not be an exaggeration to say that our hearts resemble Swiss cheese, I think. We are the walking wounded of this world.

The particular hole whose presence I am feeling most acutely today is the hole left by the absence of my mom. Of course, today is always poignantly painful, being Mother’s Day. It is impossible to ignore her absence on this day when other’s are taking their mom’s out to eat or spending the day with them. I miss my mom on ordinary days, too, but this day is an annual reminder of what I’ve lost, or rather who I’ve lost.

It’s an inevitable fact of life, that the older we get the more losses we will experience, hence the more holes our hearts will accumulate. Still our hearts keep on beating even as new spaces are created in our hearts for new lives coming into this world and into our families. I choose to fill the hole left by my mom’s absence with all the good memories I have. She left me her legacy of love, her example of courage, devotion, service and faithfulness to family and to friends. This is something I continue to carry with me and never want to forget. She is no longer here to remind me to do good, to do right, to keep going and to never give up. I have to carry on her legacy in her absence. No small task..

But when I feel discouraged, I think of my mom’s faithfulness in difficult, painful circumstances. She quietly persevered. Remembering this, I know that I can too, even though my mom is no longer here to cheer me on. After all, we all need someone in our corner. And I am reminded that when I feel alone, I can know that I am not alone and that I do, indeed, have someone in my corner. God’s word says,

“God sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6)

and also I have this promise –

“The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

I don’t have to be afraid or discouraged. There is Someone watching out for me. There is Someone who has my back in this big, uncertain world. There is Someone who knows my name and the way that I take. I am not lost nor am I unseen. In fact, these words reassure me about my Creator’s love for me –

“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17)

My mom’s love was comforting and protective and continuous – I miss that BUT – God’s love is everpresent and unfailing – He will one day heal all the holes in my heart. In the meantime, I know these words are true –

“My help come from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip – He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you – the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm – He will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” (Psalm 121:2-8)

sincerely, Grace Day