Month: May 2024

what do I pray for?

Posted on by Grace Day

I’m sitting in an unfamiliar classroom today. Actually, for the last few days now if truth be told. Why is this noteworthy? Because I’ve worked as a substitute teacher in this large high school every day of this school year and pretty much every day for the past couple of school years – ever since reopening after covid, actually. So I’ve been in just about every classroom there is, including orchestra, gym, life skills, science, math, English, Spanish, art, history – if it’s a class, I’ve probably subbed for it at one time or another.

So why would this classroom be the exception? Well, I’m currently subbing for an exceptional teacher who has been here for years and almost never misses a day of school. (hence no need for a sub in this room until now) This math teacher has faithfully fulfilled his duties year after year and is currently the longest serving teacher in this building. That’s remarkable in and of itself, because inner city public high schools have a high rate of teacher burn out, leading to a high turn over rate for teachers.

By now you must have realized that something unforeseen, unplanned and unwelcome has happened in the life of this faithful teacher to cause his absence in the first place, let alone during the final weeks of the school year, which are so critical for the students who are taking exams and hoping to pass their classes, so they don’t have to repeat them next year. And you would be right. Something unexpected has come into this teacher’s life – the diagnosis of an aggressive cancer.

At present, he is in a fight for his very life. He is undergoing chemo treatments in hopes that the cancer can be eradicated, allowing him to return to his normal life. Maybe “normal” isn’t an adequate description of his life before cancer, or of anyone’s life for that matter. “Normal” is different for each one of us. Suffice it to say that the goal, the hope, the desire, is for him to be able to return to his “pre-cancer life.” That’s why cancer patients endure the hardship inflicted on their bodies by chemotherapy. They believe and hope that after their body is nearly destroyed in the process of killing the cancer, they will survive, their health will be restored, and they will take up again the life they were living before the appearance of this deadly disease.

To this end, many of us are praying for this teacher. We are praying for his recovery from this disease. We are praying for restoration of his health and for his life to continue for many years to come. We don’t know how to pray any differently. I admit, I don’t know what else to pray or how else to pray. BUT – these words of the apostle Paul give me pause and point me to a very different perspective. Paul says this –

“now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”

now that’s a different perspective! Paul continues –

“If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know!”

He doesn’t know? Are you kidding me? Isn’t it obvious? But Paul’s not done. He continues –

“I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.” (Philippians 1:20-26)

So there you have it. I guess I don’t have the apostle Paul’s perspective yet. Maybe one day I will. Paul says to die is gain and he says he “desires to depart and be with Christ.” Why? Because Paul says that’s “better by far.” Why don’t I feel that way? I’m pretty attached to life here on earth at the moment, even with all its sorrows, pains, losses, uncertainties, strife, hardships, illnesses, famines, wars, crime, all kinds of suffering – WOW! and that’s only a partial list! Yet I want to stay here for as long as possible? And not only myself, but when I am asked to pray for others who are ill, their request and my request on their behalf, is always to heal them and to prolong their life here on earth.

“Why? Maybe it’s like what C.S. Lewis said about us – “It would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.”

That’s me, I’m sure, with earth as my mud puddle and heaven the holiday at the sea that I am doing everything I can to avoid. I guess that’s because I truly can’t imagine what heaven will be like. It is the unknown. Earth is the known, the comfortable, even with all its troubles and trials. I read in 1 Corinthians this about what awaits me –

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.” (1 Corinthians 1:9)

You and I have God’s promise of something better, but still we hang on to what we have here now. Actually, when God created all this, it was good, very good. It was a perfect paradise, that is until Eve made her ill advised choice and everything went south. Still, there are echos of the eternal here on earth to this day. It’s like Thorton Wilder said in his play “Our Town” –

“We all know that something is eternal. . . . There’s something way down deep that’s eternal about every human being.”

But our attachment to the temporal is strong. Emily voices this in “Our Town” when she says –

“Good-bye world. Good-bye Grover’s Corners . . . Mama and Papa. Good-bye to clocks ticking . . . and Mama’s sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new ironed dresses and hot baths. And sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth, you are too wonderful for anybody to realize you.”

And so it is, wonderful, that is. Even this fallen version of the original garden given to Adam and Eve is filled with the beauty of God’s creation everywhere we look. From sunrise to sunset, “the heavens declare the glory of God.” There are many God given joys here in this life, so it’s hard to fully understand that God is preparing something infinitely superior for us when we leave this earth. Our minds just can’t conceive of such a thing. So we pray to remain here at all costs.

What do I pray for? I find myself pleading with God for the physical healing of loved ones, family and friends who are ill, so that I and others that love them might have more time with them. Loss is painful. I don’t want to lose those I love to death. But as I pray for the temporal physical healings of those that ask me to pray for them, I am convicted to pray for more than just the physical. I am convinced I am to pray for their eternal spiritual healings with equal, if not more urgency.

Still, I find myself often conflicted as to how I should pray. It is then the story of the paralytic comes to mind, reminding me that “God is able to do more than I could ever ask for or imagine.” The paralytic simply wanted the physical healing that would allow him to walk again. But Jesus said to him, “Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.” The Pharisees took issue with Jesus’s statement to the paralytic. Jesus responded by saying –

” ‘But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins . . .’ Then He said to the paralytic, ‘Get up, take your mat and go home.’ And the man got up and went home” (Matthew 9:2, 5-7)

That day the paralytic received both a physical and a spiritual healing from Jesus. He had sought out Jesus desiring only to be set free from his paralysis. But Jesus wanted to give him so much more. Jesus set him free from his sin. It wasn’t either/or, it was both!

Today I know too many who are fighting cancer or other physical ailments that make their lives hard, painful and a challenge just to get through the day. How do I pray for those I love? What do I pray for? I naturally pray for their physical healing, assuming that we all prefer more time in our mud puddle to departing for our holiday at the sea.

As I pray for what I humanly desire, my Heavenly Father reassures me that in His perfect will, all outcomes are good for those “who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes.” The apostle Paul was on to something when he said that whether he remained here on earth or he died and went to be with God – either way was a win for him!

It’s just not a win for those of us who are left behind when our loved one dies. But knowing it is a win for them brings me comfort and gives me peace, joy and hope when I need it most – when I am mourning their loss. Or more aptly put, my loss of them, as they are not lost in the least but are found, now home in the place prepared just for them. Jesus confirmed this when He told His disciples –

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with Me that you also may be where I am.” (John 14:1-3)

Today, surrounded by so many people I know desiring a miracle healing, wanting prayer – what do I pray for? I will pray God’s will (not mine) because His will is “good, perfect and pleasing” always.

I will pray – asking my Heavenly Father – “Your kingdom come, Your will be done.” And like Paul, I will know that either outcome is a good one. Because God is good.

“The Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made. . . . The Lord is righteous in all His ways and loving toward all He has made.” (Psalm 145:9 & 17)

sincerely, Grace Day

mom’s day memories

Posted on by Grace Day

Another Mother’s Day without Mom has come and gone. These days are always bittersweet for me. I used to spend them with my Mom, but now that’s not an option. Mother’s Day may be bitter because Mom is no longer here with us, but it is also sweet because the memories of her that keep me company, are good ones. Still, they are a poor substitute for the real thing – my mom. I have to say I feel cheated out of more time with her. There were things we wanted to do – a trip to her alma mater, a trip to our old vacation spot, a genealogy to research – so many questions I want to ask her now, but time has run out. I always thought there would be more time – more time to spend with her when things slowed down. But I was wrong. Life never slowed down, and time ran out.

At least the memories I have are good ones. It’s just that there are not nearly enough of them. I would have liked to have had more years of memories made, before I no longer had the opportunity to spend time with mom. But we don’t get to choose the number of our days. So I will be grateful for all the years I did have with mom, even as I continue to feel her absence keenly as the years come and go without her. I guess we never outgrow our need for our moms.

And time has a way of preserving the good memories and letting fade away any not so good memories – the typical mother/daughter struggles of the teenage years, for example. I am left with memories of her love and faithfulness and self-sacrificing service for her family and her friends, for her church and her community. A good role model but awfully big shoes to fill.

Yesterday, I chose to be grateful for the years I did have mom, even as I couldn’t help but grieve the years I’ve been without her. She left me a legacy of love that time will not erase. This is something that brings me joy every day, not just on Mother’s Day. I will honor mom’s legacy by trying to live a life of faithful service as she did. This is a challenge that will keep me fully engaged, one that is not for the faint of heart. Mom persevered through many tough trials and situations in life. She didn’t quit, she did not give up. And in the end, she was victorious over those situations that could have defeated her. And we were all the better for it.

As a recipient of Mom’s legacy, I want to honor her by carrying it forward. She was never a victim, always an overcomer. She overcame by staying the course, never giving up. In today’s culture we are all too ready to jump ship when things get tough. Consequently, we don’t experience the reward that awaits us at the end of our long, tough road. Reminds me of these words –

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

Mom never gave up. She never gave up on anyone, her family or her friends. That’s a part of her legacy. Never give up hope. There is always hope for restoration, for reconciliation. Her faith believed these words of Jesus –

“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

In one of the Ten Commandments we are told to “Honor your father and your mother,” – I want to continue to do that even though Mom is no longer here. I can honor her by living out the legacy she left to me – her legacy – a legacy of love, of hope and of faith. She gave my sisters and me so much in life. Upon reflection, it appears she gave us just as much or more in death.

Thanks, Mom. I think I’m still learning the lessons you tried so hard to teach me while you were still here. Your efforts were not in vain. They are making a difference daily in my life. Wish you were here with me, but your legacy and memory remain to guide and to keep me company on my way. Wish I would have told you these things before it was too late. Hope you know how much you are loved, Mom.

sincerely, Grace Day

HOA related PTSD – part two

Posted on by Grace Day

In my previous post I mentioned that I occasionally suffer from HOA inspired PTSD, usually triggered when I receive one of their “love letters” in the mail, which are always very formal and truly foreboding. My most recently received letter concerning an overgrowth of weeds in my turf, triggered memories of letters past, such as the one I received in the not so distant past (at least not distant enough to no longer be remembered) about my mailbox. Now my mailbox was and is regulation, meaning it meets HOA requirements, and was in good condition. The problem? The numbers and letters of my address on one side of the mailbox were somewhat faded by the sun and I guess this was unacceptable to my HOA.

This was a violation that needed to be corrected, hence the letter I received. I considered my options carefully. I could paint over the numbers and letters on the questionable side of the mailbox BUT what if the color didn’t match exactly the color on the other side? Would I receive another letter for noncompliance with mailbox rules? Ok, I could paint the letters and numbers on the other side of my mailbox at the same time, with the same color, so they would match, BUT what if this color didn’t match exactly the color on the mailboxes of my neighbors? Would I then get another foreboding love letter from my friendly HOA?

What to do? We are all required to purchase our mailboxes and the posts that hold them from the same vendor or company to ensure uniformity. There are no choices we have to make regarding color, shape, height of post, style of lettering and numbers, materials used, etc. There are no deviations allowed. Uniformity is key. My HOA obviously does not have a DEI officer on the board. I deduce this from the fact that there is no diversity, only uniformity when it comes to mailboxes and other rules such as no grass over four inches high, (see previous post) no dandelions etc.

Although, I must admit they are getting the equity part down pretty well. We purchase our mailboxes from the same place, getting the same thing. No upgrades or additions are allowed. All our mailboxes are the same and therefore they are all equal. No mailbox is fancier, prettier, or more interesting by virtue of being a different color or design or decorated differently so as to stand out from the other mailboxes. This effectively eliminates “mailbox envy syndrome” which, if left untreated, can lead to discord, unrest and potentially worse in the neighborhood.

So, my HOA is just looking out for me and my neighbors by eliminating sources of competition and envy among us before they can occur. I need to find other ways of expressing my individuality, since I can’t do it through my mailbox choices. HOAs tend to favor compliance over creativity. No ostentatious yard displays of any kind permitted. Tasteful landscaping is preferred for all and HOA rules apply equally to everyone. (well, except in the case of my neighbor’s plentiful dandelions, as it appears they were not included in the “excessive weeds in turf” letters) I’m sure it was just an oversight because my HOA is nothing if not inclusive. I’m certain they did not mean to exclude my neighbors from the mailing of the “weed” letters. It was just an unfortunate oversight.

Sometimes my HOA related PTSD is worse than at other times. Usually triggered by the receipt of one of their “corrective” letters, it can then linger as I anticipate with dread when the next letter might come. It’s not good to live one’s life “waiting for the other shoe to drop” or for the next HOA letter to arrive. There’s got to be a better way or a better place. Well, maybe not in this life, but there is hope for a future free from PTSD of any kind. I read about this in Revelation where it is described in these words –

“Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:3-4)

This sounds like a place where I want to live! No HOA needed. Nothing to cause me or anyone else “mailbox envy syndrome” or any form of PTSD. The grass probably just maintains itself at the proper, approved height. No warning letters need ever be sent out to the residents who dwell with God. And I don’t have to wonder if they’ll be a place for me when I get there. I have Jesus’s promise on this. He told His disciples –

“In My Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with Me that you also may be where I am.” (John 14:2-3)

This is great news! There is a place waiting for me in eternity. I will not be alone either. Jesus said specifically, “that you may be where I am.” And you know what I think? I bet my Heavenly Father will let me decorate my place that He is preparing just for me, any way I want. It won’t have to look like my neighbors’ places. There will be no HOA in heaven! No more vaguely threatening legal letters striking fear into my heart. There will be diversity of design and of decor!

Just by looking around at the infinite varieties of flowers or of trees or of birds or of animals in general, I can know that our Creator loves diversity and creativity and individuality. And since we are created in His image, we too naturally crave creativity, individuality and the diversity that naturally results from our individual, creative pursuits. And it’s an all inclusive place that’s being prepared for you and me, dear readers. No HOA rules or regulations to exclude us from our eternal residence in our eternal neighborhood. God’s invitation is open to all!

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

The place that is being prepared for me sounds like a really great place – a place where I am included, a place where I can be myself, the person God created me to be. Actually, I’ll be the best version of myself since God’s corrective and creative work in me will be completed when I move into my new place. Paul reminded the Philippians of this in his letter when he said –

“being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6)

So my HOA related PTSD will no longer exist when I at last inherit and inhabit the place my Heavenly Father is preparing for me even now. I bet they don’t even have mailboxes there – no need for them. And I won’t have to worry about what will happen to me in fifteen days if my compliance with the current HOA letter’s concern is not complete. Beyond that, I truly can’t imagine just how good is the place my Heavenly Father is preparing for me, although I am given this heads up –

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him” (1 Corinthians 2:9)

I can’t wait! BUT – in the meantime, you will be relieved to know that I did purchase a new mailbox, rather than attempt painting over the address on my current, perfectly good mailbox. Hopefully, I am now in good standing with my HOA, and I pray this continues. But one never knows when the next foreboding letter informing one of gross dereliction and of the resulting dire consequences will arrive in my now HOA compliant mailbox. Soon, just going to the mailbox will trigger my PTSD. BUT I have hope. I am looking forward to the fulfillment of this promise from God –

“Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind. But be glad and rejoice forever in what I will create, for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight and its people a joy. I will rejoice over Jerusalem and take delight in My people; the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more.” (Isaiah 65:17-19)

looking forward to my new address,

sincerely, Grace Day

HOAs – necessary foe or unwanted friend?

Posted on by Grace Day

The current sermon series at my church these past five weeks has been – “Weeds in my garden.” I’ll let you draw your own conclusions about the subject matter from this title. So is it simply coincidence or is it God’s sense of humor that during this time of weekly sermons about “weeds” I received a very official letter from my HOA about “weeds in my garden.” (well, more accurately, weeds in my yard)

Actually, all their letters are quite formal and official, always very grave and intimidating. There are no friendly or casual letters from my HOA, they don’t exist. HOAs don’t write to you just to let you know that they like what you’ve done with the place, or that they’ve noticed your new trim or bushes or whatever and just wanted to let you know how much they like it. They don’t write to tell you they’re glad you moved in, or to ask what they can do for you.

No, they only write when the circumstances are dire because you are in violation of some aspect of the covenant that you as a homeowner have with the HOA. There are many areas covered in this covenant, creating the possibility of receiving numerous foreboding letters detailing one’s dereliction in detail and outlining the required course of action one must now embark upon in a timely manner in order to avoid further such delightful correspondence from the HOA.

Just exactly what and how dire was my most recent dereliction? (yes, there have been other letters in the past) Well, in the words of the aforementioned thoroughly formal and foreboding correspondence – “Your turf contains excessive weed growth and is in need of treatment. . . . Compliance issue should be resolved within 15 days from the date of this letter.” Now they did sign my letter “Warm regards,” so I suppose that counts for something, right? They could have signed it “cool regards” or “cold regards” or “hostile regards” or even “no regards” – the last being the worst insult of all by virtue of the fact they extend to me no regards at all.

So this letter alerted me to my dire situation and impending doom – I had “turf containing excessive weed growth.” Translation – there are (actually were) a few dandelions in my yard. Apparently, dandelions on the premises is a dealbreaker, a violation of the sacred HOA covenant. My last lawn treatment must not have killed them all, hence the very formal and foreboding correspondence which I received.

You will be relieved to know, dear readers, that I called my lawn treatment provider in a very timely manner and scheduled an unscheduled additional treatment aimed at correcting this breach of my covenant with the HOA. I must confess, the letter did cause me a moment or two of PTSD, though. You see, last year about this time I received a similar letter from my HOA, also sent with the same “warm regards”, informing me that my grass was over four inches high and therefore in violation of HOA guidelines, or more accurately, HOA regulations.

This caused me to picture some anonymous, masked, hooded individual down on hands and knees in the dark of night, measuring my grass with a ruler. Or was this just an estimate of grass growth from a drive by observation? It seemed awfully precise, hence my visual of a ruler being used in the determination of whether or not an infraction or a breach of covenant had indeed occurred. So you can understand how this current letter caused me to experience a flashback to last year’s letter.

It does give one the feeling of being watched and not only of being watched but of being judged. In addition, this letter also caused me confusion because my neighbors, who had substantially more dandelions adorning their yard at the time I received said letter, did not receive such a letter. This could lead me to feelings of paranoia and anxiety as I anticipate future letters and feel unduly singled out. But perspective is everything. Perhaps the HOA is really my friend. After all, they are doing this for my own good and for the good of the community. I will be glad they “encouraged” me to keep up my property when I wish to sell my home and property values are good because they have held all of us accountable to the covenant we agreed to in the first place.

If I think of them as my foe, then they are a necessary foe, forcing me to be better, to hold myself to a higher standard. If I think of them as my friend, what they have to say may at times be unwanted input, something I don’t want to hear (a letter I don’t want to receive) but it is for my ultimate good and benefit. I can think of them as a friend who has my best interests at heart. They are looking out for me and when they see me going wrong or doing wrong (or in violation of our friend agreement in any way) they let me know via vaguely threatening legal letters. And in the end, I will be the better for it.

Parents discipline their children (though I doubt they send them formal and foreboding letters – they do it face to face). Likewise, I read in Hebrews –

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son. . . . For what son is not disciplined by his father? . . . Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:5-11)

and in Proverbs I read this –

“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent His rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in.” (Proverbs 3:11-12)

Could it be my HOA loves me? Does my HOA delight in me? Were those very legal letters I’ve been getting actually love letters from my HOA? Who knew? Perhaps their regards really were “warm” after all, now that I realize they just have my best interests at heart. My HOA just wants my home property to be all that it can be.

From now on I will think of my HOA as benevolently watching over me, just like my Heavenly Father. And I know my Heavenly Father’s intentions towards me are always good because He is good and because He says so. I have His word on the matter.

” ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ ” (Jeremiah 29:11)

hopefully my HOA feels the same way about me!?

sincerely, Grace Day

out of the ashes

Posted on by Grace Day

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been burned. I’ve been burned more often than I would want to acknowledge and I have the scars to prove it. I’ve flirted with fire, I’ve played with fire, I’ve been in the fire, surrounded by flames and consumed by the fire. I have walked through fire and by God’s grace come through the flames, but not unscathed. It is no wonder that at this point I feel I am more ash than flesh. I am a hot mess for sure!

What hope is there for those of us who have been reduced to ashes by life’s unavoidable fiery trials? Can we ever be whole and productive again? I have nothing to give to God but my scars and my ashes. What can He possibly make of my life from this worthless offering of my scars and my ashes? It is nothing. It is not enough. Ashes are an end result, not raw material for a new beginning. Or are they?

Job knew something about fiery trials, ashes and being covered with unsightly scars. (well in his case they were sores or boils, like that’s any better than burn scars) Job had lost everything. He was literally sitting among the ashes. He had nothing to offer God but his ashy self and his sores. What could God possibly do with such a pitiful offering? Well, Job believed that God could do something very good with his life. In the midst of his suffering, with no end in sight, Job said this about God –

“But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10)

Can gold come from ashes and sores? That would be a miracle. And a miracle is the only answer for a situation such as Job’s. Fortunately for me, my Heavenly Father is in the miracle business. He is a God of miracles. Nothing is too hard for Him.

“Ah, Sovereign Lord, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for You.” (Jeremiah 32:17)

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’ ” (Matthew 19:26)

In the hands of my Heavenly Father, maybe my ashes can be resurrected into something useful and beautiful. If I give Him my ashes, will He give me something better in return? I think Isaiah has something to say about this. In Isaiah 61, I read about what God is able to do, what He wants to do and indeed what He will do for me. (and for you, too, dear readers) God desires –

“to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” (Isaiah 61:2-3)

That seems like a really good trade-in to me. I give God all I have to give, which at this point is mostly just scars and ashes, that’s what’s left after life’s many fires, and in return, He gives me a crown of beauty. Why wouldn’t I take God up on this offer? Do I think it too good to be true? Certainly ashes and scars are not sufficient raw material out of which to fashion something beautiful. And yet I am promised a “crown of beauty.” If I think that what I offer up to God is not enough for Him to be able to do His work, I would be right and I would be wrong simultaneously. My offering is not enough (it never is) BUT that fact does not stop God from doing the impossible and making something beautiful out of my ashes. He alone can do such a miraculous thing!

Reminds me of someone else who didn’t have much to offer, not nearly enough to meet the current need, but he offered up what little he had to Jesus anyway. He trusted Jesus and let go of what he thought would sustain just himself, only to see his offering become enough to feed five thousand plus people, with plenty left over. This shows me that God –

“is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us,” (Ephesians 3:20)

And that is just what Jesus did that day on the mountainside when He fed a multitude of hungry people. They didn’t just receive enough food to tide them over until they could return home, they ate until they were full and there was still food left over – twelve basketfuls to be exact. The people hoped only for a little food to assuage their hunger. But Jesus wanted to fill them up and He did exactly that. It’s like what the Psalmist said about God as our Provider –

“The eyes of all look to You and You give them their food at the proper time. You open Your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.” (Psalm 145:15-16)

God always exceeds my meager human expectations. I’m like the paralytic who desired only a physical healing, but received from Jesus forgiveness of his sins and eternal life – much more than he initially asked for or ever thought to ask of Jesus! I think God exceeded Job’s expectations too. Job had nothing left of all his former wealth to offer to God, but look how Job’s story ended. Job said to God –

” ‘My ears had heard of You but now my eyes have seen You. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.’ . . . After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before. . . . The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the first. . . . After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. And so he died, old and full of years.” (Job 42:5, 10, 12 & 16-17)

Jesus certainly exceeded expectations that day on the mountainside when He fed a multitude of hungry people with just five small loaves and two small fish. That story had a better than expected, miraculous ending as well.

“Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up, ‘Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?’ Jesus said, ‘Have the people sit down.’ . . . the men sat down, about five thousand of them. Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish. When they had all had enough to eat, He said to His disciples, ‘Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.’ So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten.” (John 6:8-13)

Out of five small loaves and two small fish Jesus provided a feast for five thousand men (and who knows how many women and children) and had twelve basketfuls of excess food left over. If I will just offer to Him my scars and my ashes, I’m pretty sure He can make something beautiful out of what I bring to Him, even though it’s not much to work with. In Isaiah He says –

” ‘Come now, let us reason together,’ says the Lord. ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.’ ” (Isaiah 1:18)

Yes, that’s the miracle transformation I am looking for, the miracle that I desire. And my Heavenly Father is the only one that can perform such a miracle. He is in the transformation business. In Isaiah I read these words –

“This is what the Lord says – He who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, . . . ‘Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.’ ” (Isaiah 43:16, 18-19)

My Heavenly Father is the only One who can do a new thing in me, with me, for me – He alone can perform the miracle that is needed to turn my ashes into beauty. I can’t do anything with my ashes, but my Creator can and He will if I give every last scar and ash to Him. I am going to take Him up on His offer.

I can trade my scarlet garments for those white as wool. All my righteousness is as filthy rags BUT –

“He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,” (Isaiah 61:10)

My Heavenly Father will certainly replace the ashes of my life with His crown of beauty and I will say with Job –

“when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.”

out of the ashes – gold! something to look forward to with certain hope because God keeps His promises . . .

sincerely, Grace Day