Another Mother’s Day without Mom has come and gone. These days are always bittersweet for me. I used to spend them with my Mom, but now that’s not an option. Mother’s Day may be bitter because Mom is no longer here with us, but it is also sweet because the memories of her that keep me company, are good ones. Still, they are a poor substitute for the real thing – my mom. I have to say I feel cheated out of more time with her. There were things we wanted to do – a trip to her alma mater, a trip to our old vacation spot, a genealogy to research – so many questions I want to ask her now, but time has run out. I always thought there would be more time – more time to spend with her when things slowed down. But I was wrong. Life never slowed down, and time ran out.

At least the memories I have are good ones. It’s just that there are not nearly enough of them. I would have liked to have had more years of memories made, before I no longer had the opportunity to spend time with mom. But we don’t get to choose the number of our days. So I will be grateful for all the years I did have with mom, even as I continue to feel her absence keenly as the years come and go without her. I guess we never outgrow our need for our moms.

And time has a way of preserving the good memories and letting fade away any not so good memories – the typical mother/daughter struggles of the teenage years, for example. I am left with memories of her love and faithfulness and self-sacrificing service for her family and her friends, for her church and her community. A good role model but awfully big shoes to fill.

Yesterday, I chose to be grateful for the years I did have mom, even as I couldn’t help but grieve the years I’ve been without her. She left me a legacy of love that time will not erase. This is something that brings me joy every day, not just on Mother’s Day. I will honor mom’s legacy by trying to live a life of faithful service as she did. This is a challenge that will keep me fully engaged, one that is not for the faint of heart. Mom persevered through many tough trials and situations in life. She didn’t quit, she did not give up. And in the end, she was victorious over those situations that could have defeated her. And we were all the better for it.

As a recipient of Mom’s legacy, I want to honor her by carrying it forward. She was never a victim, always an overcomer. She overcame by staying the course, never giving up. In today’s culture we are all too ready to jump ship when things get tough. Consequently, we don’t experience the reward that awaits us at the end of our long, tough road. Reminds me of these words –

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

Mom never gave up. She never gave up on anyone, her family or her friends. That’s a part of her legacy. Never give up hope. There is always hope for restoration, for reconciliation. Her faith believed these words of Jesus –

“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

In one of the Ten Commandments we are told to “Honor your father and your mother,” – I want to continue to do that even though Mom is no longer here. I can honor her by living out the legacy she left to me – her legacy – a legacy of love, of hope and of faith. She gave my sisters and me so much in life. Upon reflection, it appears she gave us just as much or more in death.

Thanks, Mom. I think I’m still learning the lessons you tried so hard to teach me while you were still here. Your efforts were not in vain. They are making a difference daily in my life. Wish you were here with me, but your legacy and memory remain to guide and to keep me company on my way. Wish I would have told you these things before it was too late. Hope you know how much you are loved, Mom.

sincerely, Grace Day