the woman in the wheelchair

She is always there on Sunday mornings, the woman in the wheelchair. I don’t remember when I first noticed her, but eventually I took note if she wasn’t there in her usual spot behind the last pew in the sanctuary. To me, she was somewhat of a mysterious figure, bundled up and hunched over in her wheelchair, her gray head bowed a bit and a mask (maybe a vestige of the recent covid era) covering most of her face. She didn’t appear to be with anyone or to have any family with her. I found myself wondering who was she? Had she always been in a wheelchair? How had she ended up here?

We each have a story and I was curious to learn hers – the unique story belonging to her alone, the life story of the woman I knew only as the woman in the wheelchair. In time, I introduced myself and learned her name. That changed things. She is no longer just the woman in the wheelchair, she has a name and a face. She is Ginger. (I wonder if her hair was red when she was young? I haven’t asked her that yet)

We now greet each other every Sunday, but my curiosity has remained about the long life she has obviously already lived and about the events that have transpired to bring her here to this church at this time in her life. Everyone has a story that runs much deeper than meets the eye and I wanted to know hers. Bits and pieces of her story have been revealed over time and like any good story, hers contains both triumph and tragedy, hardship and heartbreak, success and failure, doubt and faith.

Not so different from my story nor yours, dear reader, I suspect – Ginger’s is a story of endurance. She is still showing up on Sunday mornings to worship God, despite her past hardships, despite her present situation and the obstacle her wheelchair presents in this very old, unmodernized, church building. She continues to show up in faith and hold onto hope. (while some of us let less than perfect weather or any small thing dissuade us from going to church on a Sunday morning) Just her presence in church, the presence of the woman in the wheelchair, is inspiration and conviction enough for me and perhaps for others, too. God continues to use us in each and every season of our lives.

I use the word endurance because my friend’s life has not been easy. (notice I now call her my friend, instead of the woman in the wheelchair) She’s been married and divorced, employed and unemployed, lived in affluence and been homeless. She did share with me some stories from her panhandling days. Begging on the streets is not only difficult but downright dangerous, especially for a woman. God has brought her through those years to the relative safety of where she is today. This is a testament to God’s faithfulness to her and to each of us, reminding me of these words –

“if we are faithless, He will remain faithful, for He cannot disown Himself.” (2 Timothy 2:13)

“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; He is the faithful God, keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commands.” (Deuteronomy 7:9)

Perhaps my friend has learned the secret that Paul learned and shared in his letter to the church at Philippi –

” . . . I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:11-13)

Ginger continues to need the strength God gives, as life continues to be full of challenges to overcome. But of course, that is true for me and for you as well. Life is challenging, wheelchair or no wheelchair. Although alone in the world by all appearances, she now has a church family to love her. It brings me joy to see some of the grade school age children come up to her and give her big hugs after church. In her wheelchair, she is just the right height to receive their embraces and converse with them face to face. Reminds me of these words from Psalms –

“God sets the lonely in families,” (Psalm 68:6)

as I write this, I am thinking that to God, Ginger has never been, nor is she now, simply the woman in the wheelchair. She is so much more. She is His dearly loved daughter, and He has never left her nor forsaken her. He knows her by name (as do I now) and He knows every hair on her head. Ginger, like Job, can say with confidence these words –

“But He (God) knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10)

She has certainly endured a lot in her lifetime and continues to do so. BUT – in the end I hope my friend can say these words along with Paul –

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day – and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for His appearing.” (2 Timothy 4:7-8)

fun fact – a small, jeweled, crown-shaped hair ornament always adorns my friend’s gray topknot hairstyle and her nickname is “Queenie” – perhaps a foreshadowing of things to come . . .

sincerely, Grace Day

mom’s day memories

Another Mother’s Day without Mom has come and gone. These days are always bittersweet for me. I used to spend them with my Mom, but now that’s not an option. Mother’s Day may be bitter because Mom is no longer here with us, but it is also sweet because the memories of her that keep me company, are good ones. Still, they are a poor substitute for the real thing – my mom. I have to say I feel cheated out of more time with her. There were things we wanted to do – a trip to her alma mater, a trip to our old vacation spot, a genealogy to research – so many questions I want to ask her now, but time has run out. I always thought there would be more time – more time to spend with her when things slowed down. But I was wrong. Life never slowed down, and time ran out.

At least the memories I have are good ones. It’s just that there are not nearly enough of them. I would have liked to have had more years of memories made, before I no longer had the opportunity to spend time with mom. But we don’t get to choose the number of our days. So I will be grateful for all the years I did have with mom, even as I continue to feel her absence keenly as the years come and go without her. I guess we never outgrow our need for our moms.

And time has a way of preserving the good memories and letting fade away any not so good memories – the typical mother/daughter struggles of the teenage years, for example. I am left with memories of her love and faithfulness and self-sacrificing service for her family and her friends, for her church and her community. A good role model but awfully big shoes to fill.

Yesterday, I chose to be grateful for the years I did have mom, even as I couldn’t help but grieve the years I’ve been without her. She left me a legacy of love that time will not erase. This is something that brings me joy every day, not just on Mother’s Day. I will honor mom’s legacy by trying to live a life of faithful service as she did. This is a challenge that will keep me fully engaged, one that is not for the faint of heart. Mom persevered through many tough trials and situations in life. She didn’t quit, she did not give up. And in the end, she was victorious over those situations that could have defeated her. And we were all the better for it.

As a recipient of Mom’s legacy, I want to honor her by carrying it forward. She was never a victim, always an overcomer. She overcame by staying the course, never giving up. In today’s culture we are all too ready to jump ship when things get tough. Consequently, we don’t experience the reward that awaits us at the end of our long, tough road. Reminds me of these words –

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

Mom never gave up. She never gave up on anyone, her family or her friends. That’s a part of her legacy. Never give up hope. There is always hope for restoration, for reconciliation. Her faith believed these words of Jesus –

“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

In one of the Ten Commandments we are told to “Honor your father and your mother,” – I want to continue to do that even though Mom is no longer here. I can honor her by living out the legacy she left to me – her legacy – a legacy of love, of hope and of faith. She gave my sisters and me so much in life. Upon reflection, it appears she gave us just as much or more in death.

Thanks, Mom. I think I’m still learning the lessons you tried so hard to teach me while you were still here. Your efforts were not in vain. They are making a difference daily in my life. Wish you were here with me, but your legacy and memory remain to guide and to keep me company on my way. Wish I would have told you these things before it was too late. Hope you know how much you are loved, Mom.

sincerely, Grace Day