I’m holding it together today, Lord or more accurately I’m holding myself together for now.  Please don’t ask me to humble myself just yet Lord, couldn’t I wait just a little longer?  If I really pray to you I have to let myself be broken once again and that hurts, Lord.  You know that it does.  I have to trust that You will put me back together again, like all the other times, like You always do, but the process is so painful.  Today I want to avoid the pain.  At least for a little while.

Do I have to die to self again today, Lord?   I know it is the only way,  the only way to experience Your resurrection power working in me, as You bring me back to life once again, the life that You have called me to live.  Each time I let go, each time I stop trying to hold it all together myself;  it is then that my fear surrenders to my faith in You.  I trust all over again that You will put me back together when I humble myself, broken before You. I trust, just as I did that very first time, that You will bring me back from death to walk in life with You for another day when I obey You and die to myself again.

I know Lord, You would want me to remember that You have always been faithful.  You heal my brokenness each and every time that I bring it to You.  Your resurrection power prevails in me each day that I die to this world.  Your faithfulness will continue.  This I know.  So help me, again today, to stop trying to hold myself together, help me instead to let go and in faith let You alone hold me, Lord Jesus.

And thank you Lord, for knowing that You and I will go through this process maybe more than once today and certainly again tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that for as long as I live.  Thank You for knowing and for understanding, for having compassion on all You have made, including me.

“being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  (Philippians 1:6)

“and His incomparably great power for us who believe.  That power is like the working of His mighty strength, which He exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly realms,” (Ephesians 1:19-20)

sincerely,                 Grace Day

 

 

 

 

First of all, let me say these words seem long overdue.  Let me say I am so sorry for not sharing them sooner.  I am sorry for what I have left unsaid, I am sorry for any words I have not shared with you that I should have. Perhaps I am just now understanding myself what I have spent a lifetime learning.  And as I continue to learn I feel compelled to share with you, my children what is on my heart,  what I am sorry for not sharing sooner.  Perhaps I thought actions were enough, but words are needed to give certainty to the intent, to the reason behind the actions.

As millennials I see you searching for identity and purpose in your lives.  We all do.  For many it is a lifelong quest.  We were made for more than meets the eye here,  we were born with eternity in our hearts. You were made for more; you were born with eternity in your heart. And so you search.  You long to live for something greater than yourself, especially if you are one of the lucky ones who figure out early on that living for yourself alone is never fulfilling.  And so we all search.  We find our identity in what or in who we belong to.

When you find your identity in the person of Jesus Christ, when you belong to Him, your search will come to an end.  Why?  Because who better to find your identity in than the One who created you?  the One who knows every hair of your head?  the One who has your name engraved on the palms of His hands?  the One who formed you in your mother’s womb and knows the way that you take?  the One who calls every star by name and yet calls you by name as well?  the One who calls you a son or daughter and calls you friend?  the One who left His home in glory to shed His blood on a cross to buy you back from sin for God for eternity?  God is the One who knows you and knowing you fully, found you of such infinite worth that He spared nothing, not even His only Son, to reconcile you to Himself.

Our purposes are so small,  God’s are so vast.  Our purposes so fleeting, God’s so lasting. You know that Jesus died for you, to save you from the penalty for your sin. But Jesus’ death and resurrection was just the beginning of the story, not the end of the story.  It is where relationship with Him begins, not ends.  Jesus came to save you from yourself for a purpose infinitely greater than yourself. He is Savior and He is Lord and He is so much more. (as if that weren’t more than enough all by itself)  He is infinite in all ways, you can spend a lifetime pursuing Him and never come to the end of Who He is or what He wants to teach you or what He has for you to do.  It is an adventure beyond what you could imagine or choose for yourself. It is full of life’s molehills and mountains, full of mercy and mustard seeds of faith making miracles, transforming hearts and changing lives, yours included.  I’m sorry if I never told you this in words.

I’m sorry if I never said to you that God has a plan for your life.  “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”  (Jer. 29:11)  You were created on purpose,  you were purchased with Christ’s blood for a purpose, a purpose bigger than yourself.  You have an eternal purpose, you are part of a story bigger than your own story, you have a part in God’s story.  This is your context, for there is no purpose apart from context. Purpose requires context and context requires connection. You will find your purpose not in a what, but in a Who.  In the context of an eternal, everlasting God’s plans for those He created, you will find your purpose as you are connected to your Creator.  “But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations.”  (Psalm 33:11)  Created in His image, you are invited to participate in His eternal purposes.

The answer to your fleeting insignificance is your Creator’s eternal significance.  In light of eternity, your brief years here on this earth are like the new grass that springs up in the morning but by nightfall is withered and fading away.  Even so, you are of infinite value to your Creator.  “O Lord, what is man that You care for him, the son of man that You think of him?  Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow.”  (Psalm 144:3-4)  And yet, “. . . not one of them (sparrows) will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father.  . . .  even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”  (Matthew 10:29-31)

So there it is; the God who created you cares for you, He knows you by name and He watches over your comings and goings.  We all search for significance; we want our lives to matter, we want to think that we matter.  When you find your identity in Jesus (who loved you enough to give His life to secure your eternal future with Him) you will also find your significance and purpose for your brief existence here.  You are significant because the One who created you is significant.  You have purpose because His purposes are good and eternal and unshakable. God invites you to live the life He has given you for His glory rather than for your own.

Dear readers, why would I share such a personal letter in such a public way?  I guess because everyone of us struggle with these questions of identity and significance and purpose.  Because we are looking for answers and where we find those answers (or in whom) will determine our futures.  Because we all have often gone our own way, wandering far from the Heavenly Father who created us and loves us.  And because, we each like the prodigal son, can return to a Heavenly Father still waiting, still watching and even now preparing for our return.  ” So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.”  (Luke 15:20)    This is the welcome that awaits each of us as well upon our return.  We have His promise we will be welcomed with open arms.

There is always more to say,  but I will stop here.  Trying to capture in words God’s infinite, eternal story and the unmerited mercy He extends to each of us in inviting us in to participate in His working all things together to accomplish His good purposes in each and every life, is more than could ever be expressed.  Yet my hope is, these words will encourage you to seek your identity, significance and purpose in your Heavenly Father, who loves you with an everlasting love.

I love each of you,   sincerely,       mom

“. . . He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”  (Ecc. 3:11)

“. . . No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.”  (1Cor. 2:9)

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was an ordinary day, another ordinary day.  By that I mean it looked to be the same as the day before had been and the same as the day that would inevitably follow was expected to be.  I spent my day looking for the extraordinary, waiting for the extraordinary to show up and change my life.  That didn’t happen and so it remained an ordinary day.  Or so I thought.

A day like any other day.  I wake up and take a shower with clean water (an ordinary day), with hot water (an ordinary day).  I put on warm, dry, clean clothes (an ordinary day).  I have good, nutritious food to eat for breakfast and to pack for my lunch (an ordinary day).  I have a hat for my head, shoes for my feet and gloves for my hands (an ordinary day)  I have a job to go to and a car that runs well to get me there in safety (an ordinary day).  I have a home to return to after work (an ordinary day).  I can stop for gas, groceries and anything else I need on my way home (an ordinary day).  My home is warm or cool as needed and I have a bed for sleep, not the floor (an ordinary day).

It occurred to me then that my ordinary day is extraordinary in every way to most of the people currently living here on this earth.  And I do not recognize nor appreciate this extraordinariness of the days I live.  My eyes are blinded by what I have grown used to and so take for granted.  No, today I did not win the lottery nor any other unexpected award or accolade.  But if that is the measure of my day, I am sure to miss the magic of the miracles hidden in every mundane moment of my day, while waiting on something that never materializes.

Again I am reminded that my so called “ordinary day” has been filled with extraordinary moments.  Did I notice them when they occurred?  Do I remember them now?  I think of the stark beauty of the morning moon in the sky, taking my breath away as I drove to work today.  I think back over my day.  Encouraging words from a co-worker, an unexpected hug from a student, being inspired as my favorite song plays on the car radio, a neighbor’s warm greeting, time for a conversation with a friend, an opportunity to be of help to someone else, something to laugh about and someone to share the laugh with, the chance to brighten someone’s day with a  smile and a kind word, the privilege of praying for a loved one or for anyone, reading God’s word; these are only some of the not so mundane moments that blend together to make up my ordinary day, which isn’t so ordinary after all.

How extraordinary in this world to wake up in safety, go to work in safety, go to sleep in safety.  How extraordinary in this world to move about in freedom; to choose your work, to choose your spouse, to choose where you will live, where you will shop, where you will worship, indeed if you will worship at all.  You are free to choose all these things and so much more. How extraordinary.

In truth, perhaps there are no ordinary days.  Each day is a gift from God, each day is unique in its’ own right, never to be repeated, not to be taken for granted, not to be wasted or wished or squandered away.   I think days are like snowflakes and people, no two are exactly alike, despite their infinite numbers.  Only an infinite Creator God could accomplish something like that, and He has.  (I’m reminded of the movie, Groundhog Day, in which Bill Murray keeps living the same day over and over again.  Each one turns out differently as he makes different choices each time.  Even in the repetition there is variation and room for surprise, change and growth).

I am grateful for each new day, even when from my perspective they look like they are going to be a repeat of the day before,  with nothing new.  Lamentations 3:22-23 says, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”  That’s what I count on, what I look forward to; a new beginning each day, a clean slate every morning, another chance to right the wrongs of yesterday, to make up for my mistakes and do better than I did the day before.  I get a chance to fix what I broke yesterday, to offer apology, to heal the hurt, to do for someone what I left undone; I am given  another chance to lay down and be the bridge.  What a gracious God to give me that opportunity, another day to live, another day of opportunity to do good to those I will come into contact with on this one of a kind, never to come again day.

What an extraordinary God to grant me such extraordinary days.  Thank you,  Lord.

“Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”  (Psalm 90:12)

sincerely,                Grace Day

 

There’s another hole in my heart today, one that wasn’t there before.  What was there before was a space, a space filled perfectly by a dear lady that my friend and I visited in the nursing home.  We have been visiting her for a few years now, I can’t really say how many. Time has a way of passing by unnoticed until some event demands that we take notice.  Today was such an event; the death of this dear lady.  My Sunday afternoon friend, I could call her, though we visited her other times as well, but lately it had been mostly Sunday afternoons.

This sense of loss I’m feeling, has taken me by surprise.  Although, I guess we are never fully prepared to lose someone. I always think there will be one more time together.  And now, today, I know there won’t be, not here on earth anyway.  I feel the presence of the newly emptied space even as I realize I won’t be visiting her this afternoon.  Sunday afternoons will look different now.

How is it that I am so impacted by someone who didn’t know my name or what I did or anything about my life or me?  You see when we met,  just a few short years ago, this dear lady was already in the memory care unit of her facility.  We had no history together, had no shared experiences or family connections

And the same is true for me as well.  I never knew this dear lady other than as she was when I met her, in this particular season of her life.  I never knew her as the wife, mother, neighbor, co-worker, cook, gardener, pet owner and so much more that she certainly must have been before we ever met. She was unable to tell me of these things which had been her life experience and she had no need to know of the things that were mine.  We simply had relationship in the moments we were given each week.  We read from the Bible, what we discovered was her favorite Psalm, as well as other passages and watched God’s living Word do His work in her and in us. We sang hymns and learned which ones she loved to sing out with enthusiasm and joy.  We prayed with her and over her and saw the peace and comfort our prayers brought her and received her grateful thanks in return.    And so we became family of sorts in the short time given to us.

I suppose the idea was that my friend and I would be a blessing to this dear lady.  But somehow I was the one who felt blessed by God after each visit.  I was the one who tended to look forward to the visits,  she had no expectation that we were coming or not.  When did this turn from duty to privilege without my awareness?  Probably during the same time that the space in my heart had been created by and filled with this dear lady’s presence.

Her face would light up with recognition when she would first see us, she would greet us warmly and always thanked us for coming.  My friend always said this dear lady had a twinkle in her eyes, unless she wasn’t feeling well.  We saw her through a hospitalization, (from which she recovered)  and a move to a new facility most recently.  She always seemed to bounce back.

This dear lady was fulfilling God’s purposes for her still, in this season of her life. When we are a part of God’s story, our lives always have meaning and purpose even if we don’t see it or it’s not apparent to others. She could still tell her daughter that she loved her. She was teaching me compassion for and awareness of people who could easily be forgotten in this final season of their once vibrant and productive lives.  She was showing me that everyone has infinite worth in God’s eyes. Yes, God was still using her to accomplish His good purposes in any lives that came into contact with hers. I will miss her.

Today I’m feeling the emptiness in the space in my heart that was hers alone to occupy.   It will remain empty now, another hole in my heart; well worth the price of allowing another person a place in my life and heart.  The person whose life is well lived will have a heart that resembles swiss cheese as a testimony to all those who have been loved by him or her.  That is the price, unfilled holes in the heart.

Today I thank God for this dear lady, knowing how important she is to her Creator.  A sparrow fell today, was caught in the arms of Jesus and taken to the place He had been preparing for her all along.   I can rejoice!  I can mourn and I can rejoice at the same time.  Only with God is this possible.   thank you, Lord.

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?  Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father.  . . .  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”    (Matthew 10:29-31)

sincerely,                         Grace Day

There are many things that qualify as the BANE of my existence but I’ll just share a few in the hope that you can relate and I’m sure you have some of your own that you’d like to add to the list.

First of all PASSWORDS (they are needed for anything and everything it seems and using the same password for everything seems to defeat the purpose of protecting me from whatever it is I need protecting from, which would be hackers, I presume?)

ROUNDABOUTS  (no explanation needed I assume?)

CHILD PROOF CAPS on medicine containers, (or on anything else for that matter),  litter boxes; (this one is self explanatory),  commercials during sporting events or any favorite TV program, (the commercial’s whole purpose is to interrupt my viewing at the precise moment when the action or dialogue is at its peak and my interest as a viewer is at its’ highest so that I will “stay tuned” of course),

ONE WAY STREETS,  when I urgently need to go the opposite way and my desired destination is even in sight but I can’t get there and must journey away from it rather than toward it.

AUTOMATED PHONE SYSTEMS,  where you cannot get a real, live person, even by pressing zero,  but are consigned to an infinite labyrinth of choices within the confines of the system, none of which will ever lead you to a real, live person should your reason for calling not fit into any category allowed (or maybe you just crave human conversation and the personal touch?  you want to know you’ve been heard)  warning: this particular “bane” may leave you frustrated, exhausted, screaming into your phone and regretting the time you’ve spent without a result to show for it.

STUDENTS WITH EARBUDS in both ears during class,  students on their phones during class, students impersonating other students

TAILGATERS (not the sports kind,  the kind in a car in traffic)

There are also many things in life that don’t BODE well and we would do well to take notice of them and spare ourselves, if that is possible, from their results.  Examples of these things abound, surrounding us at every turn, calling out to us, serving as a warning to the more discerning among us while blithely ignored or tragically unnoticed by those of us less aware.  Consider some of the most obvious;

the words RECALCULATING, RECALCULATING

the “road construction ahead, delays are possible”  sign  (meaning get off now, before its too late)

any statement prefaced with “now don’t take this the wrong way but . . . ”

flight delay due to mechanical difficulties

the words  “let me put you on hold for just a second”

sign  “not responsible for lost or stolen items”

the words, “don’t call us, we’ll call you”  or “the check’s in the mail” or “some restrictions may apply”  or “no returns, refunds or exchanges”  (buyer beware)

new, never before heard noises coming from your refrigerator, your furnace, your car, your washing machine, your hair dryer (basically any unnatural noises from any machine you depend on to fulfill a necessary function in your daily life)

and then there’s the BEAUTIFUL,  surrounding us at every turn, if only we had the time and the inclination to notice.  Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but there’s plenty of it to go around for everyone to see.  “He (God) has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)  The beauty of God’s creation surrounds us despite anything man has done to mar that perfect beauty which existed at creation.  With every sunrise and sunset we behold a glimpse of the beauty God has in store for us.

“How BEAUTIFUL on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, ‘Your God reigns!'”  (Isaiah 52:7)    Yes, God’s gospel, (good news) of salvation is beautiful to each and every one of us who receives it,  so beautiful in fact, that the very feet of those God uses to proclaim His message are beautiful to those who hear His life giving message.

“We can search the world over for the beautiful, but unless we carry it within us we will find it not.”  This is one of my favorite quotes.   And we do carry the beautiful within us when we have “Christ in us, our hope of glory”.  Our Creator has surrounded us with beauty so out of character amidst the brokenness we have brought into this world that we can’t help but behold it and have our breath taken away.  From the majesty of the mountains to a sky filled with stars, we can experience beauty simply by opening our eyes and our hearts to its presence.

“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.  Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge.”  (Psalm 19:2)

sincerely,        Grace Day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think I am a person who craves consistency, which is to say I am not comfortable with change.  Why this is so, I can’t really say.  Now change is not necessarily negative, in fact change is usually proclaimed as positive and given the name of progress. Change is an inevitable part of life. The seasons change, taking us along with them, neither asking nor needing our consent.  Besides death and taxes, change is the only certainty, the remaining constant.

Recently this was brought home to me yet again.  I went to eat at one of my favorite little eating places in a strip mall only to discover a sign on the door saying they were no longer in business.  (not moved, just gone)  I don’t eat there very often (obviously or I would have known it was gone or going much sooner) but just knowing it was there if I wanted to meet a friend for lunch or whatever was comforting.  Now I felt let down, abandoned in a sense, something I counted on was no longer there for me.  ( I know, I know, there’s plenty more eating places to choose from, but I had found one I liked)

And having to part with my car of fourteen years when it officially gave out on me, was definitely an unchosen change.  I was content with my car, I was comfortable with it.  And they don’t make that exact car anymore so I couldn’t just replace it with a newer version.  (besides I didn’t want a newer version)  Let’s just say I still haven’t bonded well with my beloved vehicle’s successor.

Then they rearranged/remodeled my Meijer store without even so much as soliciting my opinion on the matter as their valued customer.  (or maybe I overestimate my value to them as a loyal customer?)  Anyway, I could get in and out of there in record time because I knew where everything that I typically bought was located.  I was comfortable there. That was before. Now I wander around looking for the most routine of items, trying to guess at the logic behind the relocation process of everything from shampoo to bakery goods.  Mostly, I am unsuccessful and leave frustrated without finding everything on my list.  I’m sure there was some very sound marketing strategy reason why they needed to play upset the apple cart with all of our shopping lives and limited time.

Did I mention the pumpkin patch I frequented for many years is now a field full of firewood for sale?  Or that my favorite community theater, where my children and I saw many a play is no more, but has relocated and has a new identity to match its’ new venue.  And where have all the goldfish that we used to feed in my favorite fountain pond gone?  When did they start assigning seats in movie theaters?  I have not moved in many years (does this surprise you?) but I have watched my beloved neighbors move in and move out, so the changes come through no choice of my own.  And I learn to love my new neighbors even as I miss those who have moved away.  Co-workers leave and new ones come to fill their spots. My children had the audacity to grow up, become productive citizens and leave an empty house in their wake.

My long time bible study group is disbanding as we are each being called in new and different directions at this time.  There was comfort in the consistency of these precious relationships, but constant change is the only constant.  Our presidents change, the weather changes, fashion changes faster than we can shop to keep up with what’s in for the moment and technology changes even faster than  fashion does!  Todays’ health food is tomorrows’ health risk.  My car wash even went from one lane to three lanes, not to improve service I’m sure, but just to torture me with having to decide each time which lane is my best bet to get through quickly.

I like the comfort of the consistent, the feeling of the familiar.  Some people might label the absence of change as monotonous or as boring.  But I am not one of those people.  My bank recently changed hands again, my church changed some things on their web site (after I finally figured out how to work what was already there) and my employer outsourced me and others to a new and different employer.  All changes I did not choose.  When I visit my hometown after a long absence, finding places and people unchanged is reassuring and reaffirming, as if all is right with the world because things are as I remembered them.  Something I can count on.

But it seems to me each day brings more unchosen changes into my life, causing me to question what or who I can count on to be there when I need the comfort the continuity of their presence provides.   I’ve had more than one favorite food place just disappear without warning leaving me wondering what happened.  And people are so mobile these days, we seem to come into and out of each others’ lives in a constantly changing pattern whose defining characteristic is constant change.

I’m so thankful I have chosen the One who never changes.  “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”  (Hebrews 13:8)

“I the Lord do not change.  So you, O descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed.”  (Malachi 3:6)

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, Who does not change like shifting shadows.”  (James 1:17)

” ‘I am the Alpha and the Omega,’ says the Lord God, ‘who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.'”  (Revelation 1:8)

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”  (Lamentations 3:22-23)

This is what my heart craves, the comfort of consistency that I can count on in a world where change is the constant, even when I don’t seek it or choose it.  My Heavenly Father tells me He will never leave me nor forsake me and He never slumbers nor sleeps.  I can count on Him,  He is faithful.  “if we are faithless, He will remain faithful, for He cannot disown Himself.”  (2Timothy 2:13)    My life will continue to be filled with unchosen changes every day, but I have chosen the One who never changes, giving me the comfort and peace of His constant Presence in this ever changing world.

sincerely,         Grace Day

 

 

 

 

 

Lord, make me a bridge; bridges get walked on, that’s their sole purpose.  Let people walk on me, walk across me, to get to You.   And Lord, forgive me for those times when I’m a barrier instead of a bridge, for those times when I keep people from You and block their view of You, instead of providing a connection over whatever chasms separate people from Your love for them.   What joy to be a bridge used for Your good purposes.  I could want nothing more than this highest of callings, to lay down rather than to stand up tall and unmovable.  Yes, please Lord, let me be a bridge again today.  Let me be Your bridge, a bridge for You, a bridge to You.  in Jesus’s name, Amen.

sincerely,   Grace Day

Old is in!  (and has been trending that way for awhile, if you weren’t paying attention.) But how is this even possible in a youth obsessed culture such as ours?  How long has this been going on?

Consider what we shop for.  We buy “distressed” furniture, which is new furniture made to look old.  And we pay more to have our “new” furniture look “old”.  Vintage is in vogue and we value the look.  And jeans?  You’ve seen them, dear readers. They are everywhere.  The more holes, the more tears, the more faded or bleached they are, the more they cost.  This is true for other items of clothing as well, the more “distressed” the look, the higher the price.  We want our new clothes to look well worn.  And we’ll pay what it takes.  Apparently old has value (or at least the appearance of being old does).

So, I’ve decided I like this trend.  I want to go with the flow of popular opinion and see where it takes me.  Vintage is in vogue, right?  Vintage cars are supposed to be cool (as well as expensive).   So our wrinkles should be revered, not removed.  Our wrinkles proclaim our ever increasing worth to all who behold them.  We are becoming more valuable with each passing day.  And gray hair, well Proverbs 16:31 says it best; “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained by living a godly life.”

So, put some dents in your furniture,  cut some holes in your clothes,  throw out the wrinkle cream and get rid of the hair color.  Old (rebranded as vintage) is in, so enjoy it!  And if you’re feeling or looking a little distressed, not to worry.  People are paying big bucks for distressed (as well as a pretty penny to de-stress, but that’s another blog post).  So enjoy every dent and hole you carry with you, dear readers.  They are your badges of honor. They are your reminders of what didn’t do you in, because you’re still standing.  They are your reminders of God’s goodness and mercy and deliverance.

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.”   2 Cor. 4:17

sincerely,       Grace Day

 

 

 

 

I’m missing mom again today, although as I mentioned in a recent post, its been five years that I’ve had to get along without her.  I ate at one of her favorite places yesterday and that brought back a lifetime of memories, which explains my current reflective state of mind.  My dear friend’s mom went on to heaven as well in the last few years.  I was at the celebration of this special woman’s life and knew then, although we had not met, that she and my mom would have been fast friends had they not lived in different cities but had the opportunity to know each other as my friend and I do.

They shared the same values of faith, family and friends first, self last.  They lived their lives based on these values leaving a legacy of love in their wake for us to follow.  And I am grateful for that legacy as I find myself living in a “me first” world that would deceive me into agreeing that this is the path to fulfillment, but for their example to remind me otherwise.  I refer to them as “Sunday School ladies” when my friend and I reminisce about our moms. But I don’t mean it in the way SNL  portrays someone they give that label to.

No, these were real women who lived their lives with courage and quiet strength every day.  They lived out their lives in the context of community, a community they created in their church and in their neighborhood by their steadfast commitment to serving not only their families and friends but those in need and those outside the confines of their immediate circle.  In Sunday School they studied God’s word together, learning lessons they would need to enable them to live the extraordinary lives they led.  In the context of worship and prayer they formed the friendships that would sustain them through the inescapable challenges that come to each of us, friendships that would last a lifetime.

Perhaps because neither of our moms moved around during their lives, but lived in one place for the entirety of their lives, their roots were able to grow down deep, resulting in deep friendships and a deeper, more lasting impact on the communities where they lived and served.  I love that my mom was still doing “Meals on Wheels”,  ( a service she had been instrumental in bringing to her community) at a time when she herself could have benefited from the service.

Which reminds me of another shared characteristic, these women didn’t give up.  They were not quitters. They were steadfast, in it for the long haul no matter how hard things got.  Unlike today, where at the first sign of trouble or difficulty, so many of us bail out. They did not disengage, they kept on showing up.  That’s called being faithful and it comes from having faith.  Yes, the “Sunday School ladies” I knew were tough, contrary to popular opinion.  And they were accepting and inclusive, not judgmental as the stereotype would have us believe.  They were the ones bringing meals, visiting the sick, collecting clothes for those who needed them; reaching out to others in all kinds of tangible ways that truly made a difference in the lives of those fortunate enough to know them.

Our moms persevered through life’s losses, heartaches, disappointments, difficult days and turbulent times providing stability for our families in an often chaotic and ever changing world.  They met hate with love and intolerance with acceptance. Without using words,  our moms taught us how to live.  Words weren’t necessary when they were here with us, their actions spoke clearly and eloquently and the “fruit” of their lives continues to reveal itself to me as I reflect on Mom’s legacy to me.  It’s a legacy of courage and compassion, of persistence and patience, of service, sacrifice and selflessness, and finally of family and of faith.

In these days of division and demeaning discourse, which the media keeps ever before us, lest we actually be left alone to experience our own reality and lead our own lives, I take hope from the stories of our moms and the lives they led.  One was a beautiful black woman, the other a winsome white woman.  Both left us, their fortunate daughters, a legacy of love that lasts beyond their years and will last beyond our years as well.  With God’s grace, my friend and I will persevere and pass their legacies on to our own daughters and so our moms’ legacies of love will live on in them.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; . . .  Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’  Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”  (Proverbs 31:25-31)

miss you mom,        sincerely,      Grace Day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No this is not some kind of political statement, this is a personal reality in my home. Yes, I deal with NRAS on a daily basis.  Not familiar with this malady?  Neither was I for most of my life.  You see, we had always been a one cat family.  Both my childhood family and my family as an adult counted only one cat among our members.  And all was well.  Then my youngest daughter decided our current cat, who was getting older, needed a companion and playmate to keep her company.  (why didn’t I suggest fish or even a bird to fill this role?)  Because I had no idea, that’s why.

And so it happened that we acquired a kitten to go with our cat.  A cat, by the way, who had expressed no such desire and who had not been consulted on this matter of adding an additional family member.  So we brought our new little calico home from the shelter and all was well.  For about three years.  Then, without warning, one ordinary day, amidst ordinary events, it happened.  NRAS entered our home and remains to this day.  And things have never been the same since.  Total peace has never been restored and I fear will never return here.  Oh, there are temporary truces, so deceptive in their appearing.  They get my hopes up that all will be well from this point on, only to be dashed as skirmishes resume when my guard is down.

Now the ordinary event that was the beginning of this now ongoing saga, was a routine trip to the vet for annual shots by one of the aforementioned felines.  Imagine my surprise when upon returning from the vet, these two former friends began behaving like mortal enemies, ready to battle to the death if not for being separated by myself, now thrown into the role of referee.  I was unprepared for this strange turn of events and called my vet for advice.  That’s when NRAS was explained to me.  This malady is “non-recognition aggression syndrome” in cats and my cats had it bad!

Now I always thought cats had pretty good eyesight, could even see well in the dark.  So what could be the problem?  They could see each other, couldn’t they.  Why didn’t they recognize each other?  We hadn’t been THAT long at the vet.  Were their memories THAT short?  Is it only elephants that never forget?  Did they have no memory of all the good times they’d shared up to this point?  (Bird watching out the windows, chasing and playing hide and seek with each other, eating out of each other’s food bowls)  I pondered these questions as I watched in disbelief as their growling and hissing toward each other continued to escalate, reaching truly alarming proportions.  Memory for them seemed to have been erased, the slate wiped clean.  We were starting over and this time they hated one another.

I was told it was smell they were reacting to, the one that had been gone smelled different so the other no longer recognized her.  Again, I wanted to reason with them.  “Use your eyes, I wanted to shout, you can clearly see each other, who cares what you smell like?”  Apparently, our calico cared and our snowshoe concurred and reacted. “You don’t remember me?  well I don’t remember you either”  With cats, smell must trump vision every time, I concluded.  “You’re the intruder, no you’re the intruder”  was my interpretation of their loud discourse.  The peace in our home had been replaced with this ongoing battle and with my constant vigilance to keep them separate and safe from each other.

This really was a full time job in and of itself, but I don’t know who you delegate this job of delicate, full time diplomacy to?  And what would be the job title?  “Feline Negotiator needed now, must speak fluent feline.” And so life continued with the waxing and the waning of the feline feud, presenting innumerable challenges and keeping us on our guard at all times.   An initial cooling off period was achieved by moving one cat to her own “apartment”, a separate room behind a closed door.  (let them growl away with the door between them)  Next came supervised visits with each other, gradually lengthening over time.  Tensions would ease and some semblance of peace would be restored.  Hope hung in the air at such times, heralding the end of the Cat Wars.  But then it would be time for one of them to visit the vet for their required annual shots.

Back to square one and the process would start all over again.  Why wouldn’t I just let them fight it out?  you might ask.  Although this occurred to me as a possible solution, I didn’t want to run the risk of harm to one or both of them.  Because ironically, that would result in more visits to the vet, which is the root cause of the NRAS for my cats in the first place.  Cat Wars are wearisome because they are never ending and because they result in litter box wars, which results in never ending cleaning problems and work for me.  Another reason I desire peace on the feline home front.

Why is this on my mind currently when its been going on for quite a few years now? Well, the older cat, the snow shoe,  is sick and going to the vet more often now than just the once a year check up.  Medicine and tests are taking place with diagnosis to come soon.  So the Cat Wars are on for sure and she doesn’t feel well.  I am battle weary but have not found a Feline Negotiator at this time.  Again, wish I could reason with the Calico and tell her to drop the “tude” for awhile, cut her feline friend some slack so she doesn’t have to be looking over her shoulder 24/7.  What price peace?

Will she miss her snowshoe sister when she’s gone?   Will she remember?  (apparently not, or this syndrome wouldn’t be happening)  Do I do this with people?  Do I react to anything that “smells different” from what I’m used to or doesn’t agree with me and fail to recognize all the good and potential that resides within them?  Fail to recognize all the unexplored connections that I have with others?  Do I fail to recognize because I fail to see, or more truly, I fail to look beneath the surface.  I don’t take the time, I don’t make the effort?

If I want peace, I need to seek it and pursue it and practice it in my personal life every day.  It is a choice.  It will require some effort, but anything worthwhile does come with a price.  The Cat Wars have not consumed me, but to me they seem so inexplicable.  I want to shout to my cats, “you can clearly see each other, you are both cats, you have the same needs and I can meet all your needs plus more without giving less to the other.  There is no reason for you to fight when you could enjoy peace.”

Is that how God sees all of us?   We are all human, we have the same needs for food, water, shelter, health, meaningful work, meaningful relationships, safety and peace for ourselves and our children, etc.   Is that what God would shout to all of us, that He wants to supply all our needs, that we are more alike than different because we are all created in His image, that we need to open our eyes and truly recognize our kinship with those around us.  We have mistaken them for foes when we were created to be friends.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath . . .”  (Romans 12:18-19)

“And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”  (Philippians 4:19)

“After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb. . . ”   (Revelation 7:9)

“Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.”  (Psalm 34:14)

sincerely,     Grace Day