We held hands as we circled around her hospital bed, praying for a miracle, knowing it was only a miracle that could bring our friend back to life at this point. Due to an unintentional drug overdose, she had been too long without oxygen and now she was on life support in hopes that brain function would return and she would recover. Friends had performed CPR, then the doctors and modern medicine had done everything within their power to revive our friend and to restore her to health, but to no avail. Still, family and friends were holding out hope that this wasn’t the end, that she would start breathing on her own again and experience a complete healing.

As we gathered around her, praying over her, we were desiring a miracle of the magnitude that Lazarus received. Lazarus had been dead in the tomb for four days, yet Jesus called him back to life and Lazarus walked out of the tomb, grave clothes and all! We desired nothing less for our friend. Like Mary and Martha, the sisters of Lazarus, we were not willing to let her go, to live life without her. And so we prayed for a miracle.

We prayed for the miracle that we desired. We prayed for the only outcome that we considered miraculous – her physical restoration and return to life Lazarus style – well, life here on earth that is. Even Lazarus would still have to face death again someday in the not so distant future. But in the moment our sole desire was for our friend to receive the miracle of a physical healing and return to life with us.

We did not get the miracle we prayed for that day. Our friend was taken off life support and she subsequently passed from this life into the next without regaining consciousness. We are left behind, faced with the monumental tasks of mourning her loss, celebrating her life and ensuring that her legacy lives on, surviving her death.

No, we didn’t get the miracle we asked for that day in the hospital room – but does that mean no miracles occurred? I don’t think so. We were looking for a very specific miracle to take place that day. Our disappointment in not receiving that particular miracle, has the power to blind us to the many miracles that we have already received and continue to receive even during this tough time. Our disappointment may produce in us doubt at the very time when we most need to believe in the One to whom we prayed for the miracle in the first place.

Our God may seem most distant at the time when we most desire His presence. Today as I struggle with my disappointment at not receiving the miracle I asked for and with the inescapable grief that comes with loss – I decide to trust the promises in His word more than I trust the promises of this world – starting with this one –

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18) God has said that He will –

“comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” (Isaiah 61:2-3)

It’s a miracle that the Creator of all the universe loves me (and you, dear readers) with a love so incomprehensible that it caused Him to come here personally in order to save me (and you) from a fate that isn’t worse than death, our fate IS death, apart from Him.

“The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” (John 1:14)

“He made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to death – even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:7-8)

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3)

It’s a miracle that God forgives me all my sin.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

“He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:10-12)

It’s a miracle that Jesus died on the cross in my place, to pay my sin debt.

“But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by HIs wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5)

It’s a miracle that I have been given the free gift of eternal life with Christ.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

It’s a miracle that I have a place waiting for me in heaven!

“In My Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with Me that you also may be where I am.” (John 14:2-3)

It’s a miracle that I am invited to spend eternity with the Creator of the universe, who in a happy coincidence is none other than my Heavenly Father who loves me. It’s a miracle that He knows me by name and that He cares for me.

“The Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made.” (Psalm 145:9)

So many miracles – the miracle of forgiveness and second chances – the miracle of redemption and restoration – the miracle of the prodigal son returning home and the miracle of a father rushing out to receive him – the miracle of the reconciliation of the unreconcilable –

on a day like today it is good for me to remember that the Red Sea did part, manna did fall fresh every morning, the wall around Jericho did come down, barren women did give birth, the blind were given sight, the hungry masses were fed, hard hearts were broken, broken hearts were healed – and the tomb stands empty because death has been defeated!

life is full of the undeserved miracles of a gracious and loving Heavenly Father – I cling so tightly to this place because I have no idea what God is preparing for me – I am like the child C.S. Lewis refers to who –

“wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.”

It is true, in my human, finite state, I cannot comprehend what my Creator is preparing for me – so I pray for the miracle of remaining here rather than the miracle of going to the place He is lovingly, with great anticipation, preparing just for me –

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9)

we didn’t get our miracle today, or did we? Our friend certainly received the miracle of a welcome home with the outstretched arms of her loving Heavenly Father, who was waiting and ready to receive her into the home He has been preparing for her all along. No, we didn’t get our miracle today (the one we prayed so earnestly for) – BUT – our friend, she got her miracle today!

sincerely, Grace Day