cell-phones

face to face

Posted on by Grace Day

The room was full of people and yet it was strangely quiet. I looked around but couldn’t make eye contact with anyone. I asked a question and was a little put out that no one answered until I realized that no one heard me. The explanation for this is not hearing loss, but the fact that if not wearing headphones, which are obvious, most had earbuds in, which meant they were listening to something or someone else, rendering them oblivious to their present surroundings, which included me. Everyone seemed to be “otherwise occupied.” Translation – they were all looking intently at their phones.

Whatever happened to the popular mantra – “be fully present where you are”? or “be fully present in the moment”? It seems to have been replaced with “don’t engage with those physically present with you – it could be difficult, draining or downright dangerous.” The cyberspace world is more comfortable for people today, I guess. Maybe because it is more easily controlled? (I can make a quick exit at any time with the added bonus of blaming it on technology if I need to throw someone under the bus) Maybe it’s because cyberspace requires less of me than personal interactions do? Or is it because people say things online that they wouldn’t say in person, face to face, with cyberspace’s anonymity and distance providing cover from any immediate consequences?

Do we now relegate reality to something to be avoided in favor of cyberality? Ok – cyberality is not officially a word, but new words get added to the lexicon every day. I submit “cyberality” as a new word for this year. Actually, this is long overdue. We are spending increasingly more time online, or in cyberality, than ever before. This leaves us less time to spend with the people who are physically present with us in the moment, or at best our attention is divided between the two worlds – cyberality and reality. We are rendered both more connected and more isolated simultaneously as we choose to spend more of our time online and less of our time interacting in person with the people around us, whether that be at the dinner table, at work or wherever we are.

BUT – cyberality, cyber relationships, all the time we spend online – none of this seems to satisfy us. Instead we are lonelier than ever. We continue to long for more. Which makes sense because we were created for more. We were created for relationship by a personal Creator who created you and me specifically for relationship with Him and for relationships with each other. Job gave voice to this innate desire of ours to know our Creator, when he said –

“I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end He will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see Him with my own eyes – I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!” (Job 19:25-27)

Job longed for the face to face encounter with God, as we all do if we are honest about our deepest desires, those we dare not voice even to ourselves. Ecclesiastes gives us a clue as to why this is so –

“He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

You and I were created for personal relationships, relationships born out of and sustained by face to face encounters. Anything less leaves us longing for something more than what cyberality provides. Paul describes our plight this way in Corinthians –

“Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.” (1 Corinthians 13:12)

I wonder if today this verse would more accurately read “now we see but a poor reflection on a phone screen or a computer screen”, since this seems to be a primary mode of interaction with others, too often replacing face to face interactions. This explains why you and I can be lonely in a room full of people. You or I may be present with others in body but that is all. If I am, or those around me are, gazing intently into phone screens, they become as invisible to me as I am invisible to them, as long as we remain focused solely on our phone screens.

Remember the old expression “phoning it in”? It means giving a half-hearted effort, going through the motions or doing the bare minimum. This expression is said to have originated in the 1930’s as a joke among theater actors who had such a small role, they said they could call on the phone rather than appear on the stage in person. How ironic that today we allow our phones to substitute for in person interactions we would otherwise have. We “phone it in” in our personal relationships.

My Heavenly Father does not want me to “phone it in” when it comes to my relationship with Him. After all, He didn’t “phone it in” – He left heaven and came here in the flesh, in person – in the person of Jesus Christ. He came to give you and I the face to face interaction that we desperately needed to experience. John tells us –

“The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” (John 1:14)

The face to face experience – that is what you and I were created for. This is what we long for. This is why the poor reflection of a mirror or of a phone screen, cannot ultimately satisfy our longing for real relationships. Only the face to face encounter can do that. King David knew this to be true. (way before phone screens even existed) Must be why he said this to God in a psalm –

“Because I am righteous, I will see You. When I awake, I will see You face to face and be satisfied.” (Psalm 17:15)

King David was satisfied with the face to face, something that our online, cyberality experience can never truly do for us. Real life relationships are harder, more painful but ultimately more rewarding and more satisfying. Jesus came to give us the face to face experience at great cost to Himself and great benefit for me and for you, dear readers. And now we have this to look forward to –

“Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:3-4)

no more “through a glass darkly” or “poor reflection in a mirror” or phone screen cyberality relationships – just the true reality of the face to face in God’s glorious Presence! I will gladly trade in my phone screen for that! How about you?

sincerely, Grace Day

how did we do it?

Posted on by Grace Day

How did we bring a whole country into being without the aid of cell phones or the internet or of telephones of any kind at all? None of those things existed at the time our country came into being, because they hadn’t been invented yet. Yes, I’m still thinking about the recent cell phone outage and how it affected people I know. Mostly, this event got me to thinking more about life before cell phones, which got me to wondering how we ever accomplished anything, let alone all that we did, in a pre-cell phone era. And for that matter, how did we survive at all before the invention of the telephone? Yet we humans did survive, we thrived actually.

Sonnets were written and symphonies composed, cathedrals and castles were built, masterpieces were painted and great novels were penned, plays were performed and the stars were studied in hopes of persuading them to give up their long held secrets. Teaching was done in person. Aristotle had his pupils as did Plato and Socrates. This format of studying under a particular teacher in person for a significant length of time was a way for knowledge to be passed on and expanded. Jesus, Himself, used this method. He had twelve disciples plus a few others that followed Him as He traveled, and He taught them many things as they journeyed with Him.

Education was personal. Knowledge was passed on person to person. Today we “google” things that we want to know. We don’t have to have a conversation nor a debate about various theories or hypotheses or the important issues of the day when we “interact” with Google rather than engaging with a real in-person human being. Google doesn’t talk back. And if it did, we could just click to another screen or shut our device down. (is this akin to walking away/stomping off and slamming the door in real people interactions?) Could it be that’s why we prefer Google to human interaction? No drama. We control the “conversation?” – if you could consider “Googling” to be a conversation in the first place?

But I digress. I am lamenting the loss of certain things like land lines, love letters via snail mail and phone booths. I mean, where is Superman going to execute his quick-change magical transformation if no phone booths are available? Consider that somehow, with hard work, sacrifice, with the courage of exploration and of standing up to tyranny from overseas, with hand written documents (the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution) and in person meetings – a new nation emerged without the aid of cell phones, or of any phones for that matter, or of the internet; none of which existed at the time.

Stores operated, businesses prospered, scholars were educated, crops were grown, goods were transported, things got done, productive lives were lived – all before the advent of the cell phone and the internet. How did we do it? Now I can’t imagine life without the convenience of instant connectivity to a world wider than the one in which I physically reside. But most of human history has been lived pre cell phone and pre internet. Most of my life has been lived pre these things as well. How did I do it?

How did I learn? How did I write a research paper? Does anyone remember card catalogs and libraries full of actual books you can hold in your hands? Remember having to look up by hand and consult multiple sources to support your hypothesis before you could write your paper? Remember typewriters and carbon copies? Remember waiting on your camera’s film to be developed? Newspapers, books, my school assignments – they could all be held in my hands. These are tangible things.

Now assignments are submitted electronically. I sure hope “the cloud” keeps everything I give it safe and secure. I can’t really visit “the cloud.” It’s an intangible being? idea? I liked being able to hold my finished paper in my hands, the weight of it assuring me of its worth. I would make back up copies – that was security. Now if the internet goes down, where is my access to all the information it keeps secure until such time as I might need such information? Do I trust the internet to tell me “the whole truth and nothing but the truth?”

How did we do it? How did we do life before the internet and cell phones? How did I find my way in this world? Remember maps and atlases and verbal directions? Somehow we all got to where we were going, including sporting events, concerts etc. without cell phones. How did we do it? How did we survive and thrive before modern technology?

Human history is a rich and riveting tale of successes and failures, of invention and innovation, of cowardice and of courage, of doubt and of faith, of deceit and of truth, of greed and of generosity, of hate and of love, of evil and of good – all waging war in every human heart and in every human society simultaneously. The battle continues to this day. Although things may seem drastically different in today’s cultures which have the advantage of cell phones and of internet access, much remains the same because human nature hasn’t changed. There truly is “nothing new under the sun” as King Solomon said so long ago.

How did we do it? How did people build the pyramids or the Colosseum or the Acropolis? How did Magellan sail around the world. He certainly had no modern technology to guide him. How did the pilgrims sail the ocean and settle an unknown land without the aid of any of our modern devices? The pioneers had no cars, only covered wagons to carry them and their possessions into new territories. Still, they undertook the journey from the comfort of the known to the uncertainty of the unknown and new communities were created as a country full of the promise of freedom continued its formation.

How did we do it? Like the seasons on our calendars, our individual lives have seasons, just as human history has seasons. Because human nature doesn’t change, we seem to repeat those seasons, repeating the mistakes of our predecessors rather than learning from them. Consequently, we see history repeating itself, proving Solomon right when he said, “There is nothing new under the sun.”

How did we do it? How are we surviving as a human race today? Generations from now, they may be asking the same question about us – how did we do all that we are doing now, the good, the bad and the ugly, during this time in human history without whatever new inventions will be commonplace by then? How did we survive? Only by God’s great grace and infinite mercy alone, it seems to me. And that has been true for every generation since Adam and Eve first inhabited that oh so perfect garden.

God is sovereign over all things, including the affairs of men. That truth is very comforting in such an uncertain world. In Daniel we read this –

“Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are His. He changes times and seasons; He sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.” (Daniel 2:20-21)

As I look back over human history and wonder how people survived all that they did (the holocaust for example) or how they accomplished all that they did without the modern conveniences and technology of today, I am reminded of these words in Ecclesiastes –

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

that pretty much says it all – and we know that – “He (God) has made everything beautiful in its time.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

sincerely, Grace Day