this is untitled as I begin to write because there aren’t adequate words to describe my experience this morning.  There are no words to describe the events that have taken place in our nation these past weeks,  from Orlando to Dallas and everything in between; what has gone before and what is yet to come.  We are a nation in mourning, a nation in chaos, a nation in anger, a nation broken up by our own divisiveness,  a nation in pain, a nation searching for solutions, a nation grieving from the wounds inflicted from within.  We have seen the enemy and the enemy is us, ourselves.  We are the enemy.

We are the enemy every time we wrong our neighbor, our coworker, our family member, the stranger on the street.  We are the enemy every time we speak hatefully of those who do not look like we do or live like we do.  We would do well to watch our words because our words eventually become our actions.  And we have all seen what that looks like over and over again as it plays out on the evening news.

This morning for a few hours I experienced the solution, I lived the solution, I lived the dream, I was privileged to be a part of the vision that most of us say we share but do little to bring about.  I said I lived the dream of peace and reconciliation for a few hours but this was not a dream.  This was the truest reality, full of the mixture of pain and joy,  anger and compassion,  hope and despair, emptiness and fulfillment, guilt and forgiveness, isolation and acceptance, failure and success, mortality and eternity, that each of us carries around with us every day.

This was Sunday morning worship with my brothers and sisters.   We look like heaven here on earth.  “. . . before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb.  . . . they cried out in a loud voice: ‘Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb’.”  Revelation 7:9-10   That was us on this Sunday morning, crying out to our Creator God after a week of witnessing man’s inhumanity to man, we gathered to practice the opposite.  We talked, we shared, we listened to each other, we cried, we joined our hands, we prayed together and ended by singing songs of praise to our God.

For these few hours this morning I experienced the joy of love, acceptance, forgiveness, safety, freedom to be myself as I extend to others that same freedom, all while worshiping our God together.  Yes, in this inner city church on this Sunday morning, while the world went about business as usual, we all experienced a little bit of heaven here on earth.  Pews filled with every skin color God created, all ages, backgrounds, occupations, ethnicities; united in worship, formed into a family by our Heavenly Father. This is the world we want, this is the world we wait for.  This is the world as it was meant to be, a world where peace prevails.

My few hours this morning were in stark contrast to my experiences of this week leading up to today.  This seems to be the way it is, joy is so fleeting, pain so persistent. Yet these snatches of joy amid the grief and the loss that are a part of daily life here on earth, provide us the glimpses of heaven we need to keep our hope alive.  Today I had a glimpse of heaven.  I wish each of you could too.

sincerely,              Grace Day

 

 

Just four words, but they felt weighty as I wrote them across the front of each post card that would go in the return mail.  It was the act of writing those four words that made it real.  It was the writing of those words that made it true.  My three millennials do indeed no longer live here.  I have now what is referred to as, “the empty nest”.   As gradual and non-linear as the process has been, the finality of those words still took me by surprise.

Having achieved every parent’s dream, what do I feel?  Granted, two of the three have returned home to live for brief periods of time within the past year.  Now, however, all are gainfully employed and living in three different states.  Distance adds credibility to the finality of,  “this time its for real”.  Seems that’s often the case, a few false starts or practice runs before taking off for good.  If that was supposed to prepare me for this present reality, it didn’t.  You can’t know ahead of time how you will feel, no matter how much you anticipate and prepare.  You can’t know until you experience it.

I am always surprised when I experience what I did not expect to experience. This is something  I knew for certain would happen one day, I just didn’t think “one day” would ever get here, especially not so soon.  I expected celebration, what I feel is a sadness.  I expected the exhilaration of freedom, what I feel is the emptiness of no one’s expectations of me.

Is this an ending or a beginning?  It’s both of course, because every ending ushers in a new beginning of something.  It will be the beginning of something I choose or of something thrust upon me, either way, the only way is forward, no going back.  And I’ve already stated that I like beginnings, all things new and uncharted, the adventure of the unknown.  I can now make decisions without needing to consider the needs and personal preferences of three other individuals.  And yet, learning to live well with others, balancing their needs with my own seems ultimately more fulfilling than considering only myself.

We were meant to live life in community.  The “every man for himself” ideal brings upon us the strife, isolation, crime, grief and destruction that we witness in our own lives and the lives of those around us and in our nation.  All we have to do is turn on the news.  The results of this philosophy surround us.  The molehills in our lives become mountains and our mountains become insurmountable without the compassion and cooperation of those who would surround and uplift us in our times of need.  The miracle is that mercy still exists and is experienced, often when least expected by those who least deserve it.  And that is each one of us at one time or another in our lives.

So let us be dispensers of mercy, each one, that we may also be receivers of mercy in our times of need.  Holding fast to our mustard seed of faith, let us face our futures with anticipation rather than dread, courage instead of fear and hope rather than despair. After all, each day is a new beginning, a gift from God, waiting for us to fill it with our choices.  Choose well,  my friends.

 

sincerely,          Grace Day

 

 

 

 

 

I like beginnings, all beginnings.  They are so full of promise, so full of possibility, while at the same time so pristine, so free of pain.  There is something exciting and refreshing about the unknown, unspotted and unspoiled, where all options are still open and mistakes have not yet been made.  Sadness has not yet entered in.                   Beginnings are the joy of a clean slate, of a blank canvas, of a new journal waiting for that first entry, of a second chance.

Life is full of new beginnings, (although I must say, a beginning IS new simply by definition, otherwise it wouldn’t be a beginning).   A new life coming into the world, first day of a new school year, first day of a new job, the beginning of a new relationship, the beginning symbolized by a wedding, the start of summer vacation; all start out clean and clear, no doors yet closed; waiting for us to fill them with whatever we choose.

Each day is a new beginning for us, a clean slate, a do over, a second chance to get right what we didn’t get right the day before.  (I think that’s referred to as learning from our mistakes).  God’s mercies to us are new every morning, so hopefully our mercies to ourselves and others are as well.  What a difference that would make in our daily experience.

So, this blog is a new beginning for me.  Kind of like starting a new journal, but a little less private.  I have no idea what to expect, this is a first for me.  It is also the height of irony because I have practically zero computer skills (a friend set this up for me on my old desktop) and I am not on any social media.   This is truly like sky diving for me, or as close as I will ever get to that I’m sure.

But the beginning of anything is exhilarating and I enter into this beginning full of all the hope and anticipation that accompany any such endeavor.  I do love a good beginning.  I have already experienced today in getting this launched, a molehill, a mountain, mercy, and a miracle; all while clinging to my mustard seed of faith.  The molehill of technical difficulties turned into a mountain, which due to the mercies of my friend and neighbor, eventually yielded the miracle of this blog.  (well, its a miracle as well as a mystery to me anyway).  So,  unseen, unknown readers, you are more than welcome to share this journey with me.  I have no idea where we are going or where we will end up, but the joy is in the journey and I would be glad to share that with you.

sincerely,             Grace Day

 

 

 

welcome to my new blog, maybe.   technical difficulties are ruling currently/ stand by